For older children and teenagers, this can mean taking away a cell phone.
All of this is in service of teaching children to be respectful without disrupting the vital positive elements of the caretaker-child relationship.
Psychologist Alan Kazdin, the director of the Yale Parenting Center and former president of the American Psychological Association, has admonished that spanking is “a horrible thing that does not work.” It predicts later academic and health problems: Adults who were spanked as children “regularly die at a younger age of cancer, heart disease, and respiratory illnesses.”If the fear of robbing one’s child of years of life were not enough, this month two more studies added to the pile finding that childhood spanking has negative effects on the people we later become.
In the extremely depressing journal , researcher Julie Ma and colleagues found that spanking was associated with later aggressive behavior.
He is fundamentally opposed to telling people what not to do.
Still it’s also clear that a person’s understanding of the role of violence in conflict resolution goes way, way back.“We struggle in this field trying to identify predictors of violence,” said the University of Texas researcher Jeff Temple, who focuses on interpersonal relationships and dating violence among teenagers.
“We know that child abuse is related to later dating violence, as is witnessing violence between parents or in the community,” he told me.
It’s not just a Texas thing; it’s proven not to work.
He is instead a champion of “positive disciplining,” meaning focusing on what is good about a particular situation.“Spanking is punishment, and punishment doesn’t work,” he said. But if you can connect with a kid when they’re doing something right, they’re more likely to do that again in the future.”As a father himself, he knows this is difficult to adhere to, but he believes this can happen even in the most difficult situation.